Those durned Baudelaire orphans--we traipsed all the way out to go
rescue them, but, alas, it wasn't meant to be. We were so
disappointed! Along the trek, we thought we saw some dreadful
sights floating along the shore at dead man's cove. When we
investigated it more closely we realized it wasn't really the bodies
of Klaus, Violet and Sunny but rather 3 'buoys' tumbling in the surf
instead. Thank goodness--that meant there was still hope we might be
able to save them. Further along the trek, it seemed that Count
Olaf's cape'd shadow suddenly loomed overhead. Fearing the worst of
all imaginable outcomes, we darted into a nearby loo and hid from
the ominous shadow until the danger passed. Unfortunately, by the
time we arrived at the X on the map, there was no sign of the
orphans but rather a disintegrating tree and water, water--water as
far as the eye could see! Thank goodness we avoided the perilous
cliffs just a bit ahead. Fortunately, the remnants still contained
in the box were high & dry; exactly how Count Olaf left us--with the
orphans dreadfully in tow, I fear.

Sadly, the orphans are still in grave danger. Hopefully, that
doesn't mean 'interred', which is this sense means buried deep into
the ground someplace.

Miserably,

dvn2r ckr